FOUR. FIVE. TWENTY SEVENTEEN.
The air freshener insulted me as I walked into the restroom today.
"Hey Stinky," it said as it pushed out a melon-like scent.
"It's nice to see you again, I was starting to think I'd never get to spray again!"
"Screw you!" I replied as I walked into the stall.
"Make sure you flush and be sure to wash those filthy hands of yours too! I can see the grime from up here!"
Ugh I thought. What an ass! Let's make this trip quick.
I finished my tinkle as quickly as possible and went to wash my hands.
"What took you so long?" The freshener asked.
"Do you mind?" I lathered up quickly and got a paper towel to dry my hands. What a nuisance they're being today.
"I sure don't!"
"Ugh!" I grabbed the door.
"Here's one for the road! See you in an hour." The freshener exclaimed as the melon-like scent filled the air again.
"I’d rather hold my pee until shifts end." I let the door close as I tuned out whatever it was saying as I exited and headed back to the office door.
I wrote this when working in an office where the bathroom air freshener went off every few minutes and the bathroom was laden with a melon scent; I had to give the air freshener some personality.
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