top of page

an excerpt on how to not date in your thirties


https://www.teepublic.com/pin/37002570-funny-dating-app-meme

Being back in the dating pool, after so long, has come with so many challenges and weird encounters, I've locked in my trajectory and am preparing to eject and launch myself on a planet of solitude at this point. I thought, naively, that guys in their thirties and older would have a bit more sense, be somewhat solidified in their wants, and aspire to go on an actual date and do something that doesn't involve fucking or instantly leading to fucking. Given that I don't have a lot of free time, I am drawn to the world of online dating and ooh wee are people ballsy! I've encountered less than a handful of people that have ever dared to be so unpleasant and sexual to my face. What liquid courage are you sippin' on you that makes you think it's okay to talk to ANYONE like that? Especially this lovely lady, haha.



I like to be very straight to the point and will let someone know if I don't like them, what I want, and what I don't want and I expect nothing less from someone I'm talking to.

I've heard the most BIZZARE things! Being as dramatic as I am, I've come to enjoy being bizarre right back, because, why not? I match energy. I am a Kar3n after all, HA!


Among my favorites are:


"You could at least say hi."


- I responded back a few days later with, "This is me saying hi."

 

"I don't think you should be on here, you're not ready to date."

- all I said was hi.

I've since concluded, it's not a readiness, I just don't want to be in this pool.

 

"we could have some real fun thooo"

- I told them I didn't really like humans that much.

 

"Hey trouble."

-I'm no trouble, I'm a good girl! lol

"I love a good liar."


 

This was from a guy I was talking to:

"I was going to invite you to the Teddy Swims concert, but knew you couldn't go so I invited this other girl instead."

They later told me they were mad at me and said that just to try and agitate me.

- It worked, but they didn't end up going because I used the good ole reverse psychology on them.

Are my devil horns showing yet?


 

"I've never been with a black girl, it would be an experience."

- I told them someone less pleasant would cuss them out for saying some shit like this.

I'm snorting with derision remembering this.


 


Kid Fury said it best: "Humanity is not a real thing; people are garbage."


I am not ready for this dating pool, and it sure as hell isn't ready for me - however entertaining it may be. I'm going to water my metaphorical garden and maybe, one day, I'll meet someone worthwhile the old fashioned way, .








* I do not own the rights to the above photo and it can be found here


Recent Posts

See All

BLIP #721

Having experienced the warmth and comfort of another's embrace - yearning for the human touch is one of the most miserable things to...

Comments


bottom of page